March 3rd, 2010 › Uncategorized › amanda › no comments ›
I now realise that when I was young, shy and busy worrying about everything – especially what other people thought about me – other people (some of them friends and some family) didn’t really ‘give a monkey’ and were too busy enjoying themselves to consider how I might be feeling.
As I reached puberty I became excruciatingly quiet and fearful. I walked behind my mother most of the time so that when we met people we knew, she took the lead in conversations and I would smile and nod appropriately. I used to look up from ‘under my fringe’ (a look I now associate with Princess Diana) and speak in a small mousy voice, if at all.
It seems I wasted a lot of time worrying needlessly but, fortunately for me, I somehow managed to change…..
I realised, gradually and painfully, (the details of which I will not venture into) that I had two clear choices: – adopt a more positive outlook to life and actively promote myself to others; or risk a life of underused potential, unhappiness and regret.
I did not want to become a resentful and envious person with little self-respect (I know people like that), so I set about learning how to become more confident.
In doing so I lost my fear of many things, including people.
I have realised over the years that we are all the sum of what we make of ourselves. We do not need to become the sum of what people make of us.
What other people make of us is none of their business!
February 2nd, 2010 › Uncategorized › amanda › no comments ›
Finding a suitable life coach can be hard and many people feel they need more information before choosing their coach.
I’m noticing an increase in the number of sites that offer help with this process, and in fact I added my details to one such site a few months back after rejecting a few others as ‘unsatisfactory’.
More recently I was approached by The Life Coach Directory (www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk) and encouraged to check out the information they were offering.
My first priority when I view any site seeking to feature my business, is to check on its professionalism and integrity (as far as is ever possible on the net).
I was impressed for the following reasons:
The directory only lists qualified/registered Life Coaches.
Every member on the site must submit a copy of their qualifications and insurance cover or must be registered with a recognised professional body.
Each coach has their own profile, which lists information about their training, qualifications, approach, fees and location.
As well as this, the website has a wealth of information including areas that life coaching can help with and articles written by life coaches listed on the site.
I would be interested to find out whether this site (and others similar) are actually achieving their objective to help those in need to find a suitable coach.
Helpful? Not helpful?
I would appreciate feedback.
Amanda
January 2nd, 2010 › Uncategorized › amanda › 1 comment ›
Here’s wishing all my blog readers a happy and healthy New Year!
And now for a few words about resolutions – don’t make them if you know you can’t or won’t keep them!
Reflecting on 2009, I realise it has been an intensely hard working year for me, both professionally and personally, with very limited time for relaxation and fun.
Naturally I am resolved to address this.
Here’s how I’m thinking:
My work commitments will be heavy as of Jan 5th when I will move from Leicestershire Adult Learning Service, where I have been teaching for the past two years, to take up a new part time post with Rutland Adult Learning service.
I will combine this managerial and teaching position with my individual coaching sessions and also the staff coaching courses I now deliver on behalf of the University Hospitals Trust in Leicester.
Balance is obviously the key to success here, as I often explain to my clients. Just like them I will need to balance a busy work schedule with time for myself and for my family.
So what’s my top tip to myself?
To Imagine I have an energy cheque book.
Why?
Because if I only spend energy and never make any deposits I’ll naturally wind up overdrawn.
How can I avoid going into the red?
If I listen, my body will tell me which of my activities are ‘deposits’ and which are like writing a big fat cheque.
The outcome? No more cooking, ironing or supermarket shopping. Seemples!
If only maintaining a balance lifestyle was really that simple.
I wish you success in all your endeavours and a prosperous and well balanced 2010, and I wish myself the same!
Amanda
December 1st, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 2 comments ›
People sometimes ask me how I arrived at the name ‘Spiral Life Coaching’, so I’ll attempt to explain.
By dictionary definition a spiral is…
A curve on a plane that winds around a fixed centre point at a
continuously increasing or decreasing distance from the point.
As a child I loved our annual holiday to Overstrand in Norfolk and my favourite shell on the beach was – you guessed it – the one with the spiral shape that you could hold to your ear and listen to the sound of the sea. (Such simple pleasure.)
I’ve liked spirals ever since.
A Spiral is so much more interesting than a circle and quite a therapeutic shape to ‘doodle’, which I often tend to do whilst on the phone. (Supports my concentration in fact).
At home we’ve had a fossil standing on the mantle piece for many years – the remnants of one of those spiral shaped creatures from long ago. (Seems significant that it should have had ‘pride of place’ for so long.)
Spirals are not, of course, restricted to the seashore; they seem to pop up everywhere: snail shells: staircases; inner ears. To name but a very few.
There are hyperbolic spirals, fremats spirals; logarithmic spirals and triple spiral symbols. (I don’t know what these are but they sound good.)
Anyway, to get back to why I chose the name.
Whilst we might prefer life to chug along in a straight line – its just doesn’t does it?
It spirals up and down: from hour to hour, day to day, week to week, year to year.
For me a spiral seems to symbolise LIFE’S MOVEMENT; it’s ebb and flow; ups and downs; the continually increasing and decreasing fluctuations which challenge us all, and which probably bring out the best in us, as well as the worst!
That’s it.
November 8th, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 6 comments ›
I’m not a radio fan, but Dr Phil Hammond certainly got my attention recently!
He was speaking on BBC radio 4 on the subject ‘Metaphor for Healing’.
Here is a GP interested in how the use of metaphorical language in health care is increasingly accepted as a powerful aid to healing. Music to my ears.
The theory goes that the power of the right metaphor, long exploited in poetry, politics and marketing, is being increasingly recognised in health care, coaching and therapy, engaging the unconscious to activate self-healing.
I’m a visual thinker and someone who regularly uses metaphor to help coaching clients understand their lives with as much clarity as possible – and it works!
Can anyone point me in the direction of further information?
October 1st, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 2 comments ›
Having attended a number of coaching sessions with Amanda, I feel I need to continue my journey, not alone, but with the tools Amanda has made me realise I possess, in order to continue to tap into my potential.
I feel positive thoughts and processes are needed in almost every decision I make, whether it’s on a personal or professional basis.
I am determined to make the most of my life.
Negative thoughts and problems can blight the horizon, but I won’t let them.
I feel we are moulded by our surroundings and our insecurities. Some people are naturally positive in their outlook on life, in all aspects; I haven’t been one of those people in the last few years.
However I used to be and I will be again, as I have become a lot more positive about my life and the decisions that lie ahead.
So – I have decided to, and have enrolled on, an NLP evening class which I feel will make me generate more positive choices and help me further change my outlook.
I want to see what’s not working for me and to change my normal course of action into something more positive.
So here goes…
Mr Anon.
September 1st, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 2 comments ›
This blog has been inspired by a book I was recently lent to read, called ‘The Elderwoman by Marian Van Eyk McCain.
To summarise really quickly, the book is based on the idea that as ‘we women’ reach the menopause (sorry to be exclusive!) we are presented with the uplifting OPPORTUNITY to share our life experience and wisdom with others and for the benefit of others. Basically we become women of standing and importance – elderwomen – as opposed to simply – olderwomen – who gradually sink into insignificance and invisibility because we can no longer compete with the good looks and charms of younger women.
For me the increase in lines and wrinkles, loss of energy and muddled thinking caused by a peri-menopausal diagnosis haven’t been easy to cope with. Grow old gracefully? I don’t think so!
Elderwoman status feels more positive – it feels more generative. It offers me the chance to share the benefits of my perceptions, discoveries and struggles.
Of course the famous ‘sages’ of the past have touched the lives of many thousands with their wisdom and insight and I can only reach out to a small minority in a small way. Does that matter? Not a bit.
There’s a saying by Mahatma Ghandi which I really like – somthing about being the change you wish to see in the world – sums it up nicely.
August 3rd, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › no comments ›
I’m sometimes asked by clients contemplating coaching if I am able help with generalised feelings of low self esteem and the answer is a definate YES.
A specific issue or problem is not necessary. Coaching is about personal development
and it’s equally important and beneficial to tackle feelings of low self worth as it is to
confront more specific problems linked to say a relationship or work issue for example.
High self-esteem means that we appreciate ourselves and our personal worth.
Clients who present with self esteem issues tend not to have a positive attitude; not to value themselves very highly; are not convinced of their ability and do not see themselves as confident and in control individuals. This view of is very limiting.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need depicts esteem as a ‘higher level need’. The higher needs in his hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met.
This is important.
If we get stuck at the ‘esteem’ level we will find it difficult to progress to the next level of ‘self actualisation’.
If we get ‘stuck’ on the ‘ esteem level’ we will limit our effectiveness and ability to achieve the ‘highest level’ of success :
Low self esteem = inability to progress = inability to achieve = unfulfilled potential = ?
Many of the clients I see with self eteem issues feel frustrated by their inability to ‘move on’ in life and to feel happy with themselves. Their issues are often deep seated and it’s only
when ‘picked apart’ that some of the root causes become visible.
Unlike counselling where the aim may be to resolve issues from the past, coaching seeks to acknowledge the reasons for lack of confidence and esteem, but then to support clients
to overcome their personal barriers; build on their strengths and make practical and positive changes.
Does this blog help anyone thinking of opting for a coaching approach to tackle self esteem issues?
Amanda
July 1st, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 5 comments ›
There are moments in all our lives when we realise something important has happened and it will have a lasting impact. For me it was a small – and not entirely pleasant sound, that changed my life – the sound of a recorder!
Where and when? At primary school, as I passed by a classroom, peaked around the door to see where the sound was coming from, and was suddenly gripped by the desire to acquire a recorder and join in with the group as soon as possible. (I still have that old wooden recorder – although I have to say I later upgraded to an ‘Aulos’, which didn’t clog up with saliva quite so badly!)
Such an insignificant moment – life changing?
Yes, definitely. Because the musical ability I found I had through playing the recorder, led, directly, to some of the most positive experiences of my youth:
- I learnt to play the flute and joined the school band. I went abroad with the band (to Dieppe in France), and this was my first ever trip out of the country. (As a family we only ever went to Overstrand near Cromer).
- I joined the choir. The choir contributed to an episode of ‘Songs of Praise’ and I saw myself on tele! (I recall we trooped over to a neighbours house to watch the broadcast on colour TV because we only had a black and white set).
- When I left school and went to University I joined the ‘Keswick Hall Choir’, a professional and well renowned choir and we sang in Cathedrals and great halls and public places, including West Minister Abbey on one occasion.
Engaging with music brought me into contact with people who were ‘well brought up’ and academic and nice. Often I felt they came from a more ‘privileged’ background than I did – but our musical ability gave our relationships equality.
In my particular case, learning to play the recorder impacted on my sense of self and my self-confidence. Where would I have been without it?
Amanda
June 11th, 2009 › Uncategorized › amanda › 4 comments ›
Providing easier access to all types of services around the places where children and young people spend most of their time is key to the Every Child Matters objectives of ensuring that children stay safe, are healthy, enjoy and achieve, make a positive contribution and achieve economic well being.
I have this week been asked to advertise my services as a coach within schools and other educational establishments, by joining the Handbook of Procurement for Head Teachers and Bursars 2009/2010.
The handbook exists to provide teachers and procurement staff with the information and resources they need to purchase best value products and services for their school.
So why focus on social and emotional development?
Why buy in specialist support in this area?
The ‘Every Child Matters’ website provides an explanation…..
‘A child’s social and emotional development has significant implications for current and later social functioning, for educational, and employment success. If emotional development is fostered at a young age, children are more likely to settle well into school, work cooperatively, confidently and independently, and behave appropriately. A child with poor social and emotional development is at risk of poor relationships with peers, academic problems, later involvement in crime and developing physical health and adult mental-health problems’.
As a coach I have lost count of the number of times when adults describe circumstances from their childhood, which have had a profoundly negative influence on their future lives…..and I’m no exception.
Share your views?
Ref: www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters