They know their child is unhappy but the child will not talk to them about their problem 

They want to support a change in the behaviour of the child 

The UK economy is now clearly experiencing one of its worse recessions in recent history; the problems seem desperate and the idea of growth simply out of the question.

The UK jobs market is weakening significantly and, according to labour market statistics, unemployment last month stood at 7.9%, with youth unemployment expected to pass the million mark shortly.

Feeling the pinch in our own lives reflects the stats only too well: holidays have to be through carefully in terms of expenditure; home extensions have to justify the investment; cost cutting shopping is becoming a necessity…

So, is it possible to remain positive about the future given the above?  Is it possible to live life to the full ‘on a budget’ and at the same time to plan ahead for a more prosperous future?

I find myself reflecting on the ‘conservative approach’ my parents took to managing their finances, and whilst at one time I might have criticised them for their extreme caution, I can now see they did not ‘expect’ their money to buy them luxuries and lifestyle – they used their hard earned cash to protect themselves and their family from the ups and downs of life and the most basic ‘costs of living’.  My parents did not have a cheque book, and paid ‘up front’ for what they could afford. My father constantly calculated his incomings and outgoings sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen – he knew what he had in his accounts ‘to the penny’.

A return to the old fashioned philosophy – ‘if you can afford it and you need it, buy it’ – is harder for our generation. We’ve been brought to up want more than we have and to try to keep pace with other people’s buying power. By setting ourselves unrealistic aims we tend to create our own financial crises.

Maybe we have to start taking more personal responsibility – myself included.

The above scenario is only too real in the current climate and an undoubtedly frightening prospect for many.

The following 10, rapidily digestible tips, may be of help (although of  course I would recommend individual support if possible) : -

1. First impressions – DO count – shake hands firmly – make eye contact and smile.
2. Push your bottom and back into the interview chair and rest your hands on your lap, ready to begin
3. Look  at the person asking the questions, but glance at other members of the panel as you respond.
4. Use the first person tense to ‘own’ your achievements: I implemented / I co-ordinated etc.
5. Ask for clarification if you do not fully comprehend any particular question.
6. Create a pause to give you time to think – take a sip of water or ask for a minute to respond.
7. Try to make two or three key points in response to a single question. ‘Chunk’ your answer so it’s easier for the panel to digest e.g. there are two key points I would like to make – firstly and secondly.
8. Try not to get ‘tied up in knots’ with jargon and long phrases – make yourself CLEAR

If unsuccessful:

1. Take the feedback you are offered and attempt to address the pointers you are given
2. 10. Work to improve your interview techniques so that you are able to come out of any interview feeling that you did your best – win or lose – personal pride is important.

Good luck.

Amanda.

C ognitively challenging

O pen minded questioning

A chievement focused

C entred on the individual

H onest reflection and re-direction

I nspiring

N on judgmental

G oal orientated

Here’s one for you to try!

LIFE IS…

L

I

F

E

• Work environment
• Work relationships
• Circle of friends
• Personal relationships
• Family
• Where you live
• The job you do
• Your financial status
• Your health

How many of the above elements have changed for you during the past five years? It is highly likely that many if not all, (for me it’s 8 out of 9!), of these major life elements will have changed to some degree. How many of these changes, good or bad, simply happened and how many of them did you actually influence and affect? In other words, how many of the changes did you initiate; how many did you simply react to?

How people react to change

Managing change and dealing with its implications will of course differ from person to person, (it’s perhaps important to note that these reactions can apply to people at all levels and status) but there are broadly three reactions to change:

*Resistance (direct or passive)  *Indifference/Avoidance  *Receptivity and Openness

Why do so many people respond so negatively to change? In the short term change can mean loss, discontinuity, and the destruction of a familiar and “safe” way of life. Fear inducing?

However, the positive elements of change can include the creation of a better set of circumstances, the fun of being involved in something different, the pleasure of new relationships, the opportunities presented from a new venture or means of employment. Invigorating and life enhancing.

Question: Think about a recent change you have initiated or ‘experienced’ – what was your reaction? What did it say about your own response to change?

To my mind potential describes the possibilities of average people, to accomplish extraordinary results, in whatever they choose to pursue…

So why is it some people reach their potential, whilst others do not?

Lack of effort?

“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.”

-Liane Cordes

Lack of reflective practice?

“Questions provide the key to unlocking our unlimited potential.”
-Anthony Robbins

 Lack of aspiration?

“Our aspirations are our possibilities.”

-Robert Browning

If you believe that through the development of your “human potential”, you can experience an exceptional quality of life, filled with happiness, creativity and fulfilment, then begs the questions, how do you foster it’s development? – by attending self development courses? What support do you seek? – the support of a coach a counsellor? From whom do you seek encouragement and support? Your wife, husband, friend, colleague?

I am of the view that those who begin to unleash their potential often find themselves directing their actions within society towards assisting others to release their potential and that the net effect on society will bring about social change at large.

Perhaps we need to bring this area back into focus?

The idea of ‘taking care of oneself’ is something some of my clients find difficult. It feels ’selfish/self indulgent’ and something to be shied away from. Thinking about it logically though, how can anyone else know what is really best for us; know what it is we need; understand what makes us tick? We are complex creatures with a multitude of individual thoughts and feelings….. it’s not  about IQ it’s about EI:

I was talking to a Head Teacher the other day, who mentioned that she was involved in a highly sensitive EPD meeting. I didn’t have a clue what she mean’t but did not wish to appear ignorant, so did not ask. In educational parlance it means Early Professional Development (i.e .the second and third year of teaching) and leads on to the more familiar CPD – Continuing Professional Development.

(Is there a similar mnemonic for Continuing Personal Development I wonder?)

Aside from the more mundane coaching-linked mnemonics, including the EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council) and the ICF (International Coaching Federation) there’s one I might think about using, because it is more interesting and upbeat.  How about:

YAHOO !

You Always Have Other Options. 

If it encourages my clients to ‘think outside of the box’ and to visualise new directions and goals,  it may make it into  the ‘bits and bobs’ section of my coaching toolbox.

BFN Amanda